I want to tell you about the wonderful group of girls I get to

hang out with.  These great youth and I created a program 3 years ago at All Saints’, Collingwood Ontario called “Girls Night Out”. It’s a program geared to girls aged 12-18 where they can come and talk about issues that affect their everyday lives. We talk about school, parents, bullies, boys, peer pressure and sooooo much more. We gab, gossip, eat and learn. No boys allowed!

What makes this program so awesome? The girls.  Over the last 3 years we have worked together to find how this program can benefit them the most from within the Church. Their input is invaluable and is ever-changing. I learn so much from them and I hope they learn a thing or 2 from me as well that will help them along the sometimes difficult journey through high school.

We spend the first 30-45 minutes on time that allows girls to come in a talk to me and their peers (I am a trained counsellor so don’t panic) on issues affecting their lives. They have a space to talk without interruption and get some neutral input that can perhaps help them through the tough space they are in. After that, the floor is open to anything and everything they want to discuss. And trust me, its’ anything and everything!

These young adults are so awesome and their honesty is great. They accept my “aged” status and laugh at my shocked looks when I learn some new fascinating teenage trend, ideal, word or issue.  They tell me about movies they’ve seen, things going on in their lives, issues with peers, issues with families, friends and boys. We talk about feelings, thoughts, and actions in both the positive and the negative sense. Between the texts, emails and Facebook notifications we carry on our evening in a fashion that works for all of us.

The girls created this program. They tailored it to work for them and for their friends. I couldn’t ask for a greater group of girls who are willing to listen, accept some neutral yet often hard questions and to respect our discussions. They each come from various backgrounds, lifestyles and issues but each one of them brings a wealth of good things to the group. They are not all brought up in the church, but are willing to be challenged and be part of the church setting.  It is so important to meet our youth where their lives are and for us as leaders to be relevant. We need to actually hear what they are saying and experiencing. Girls Night Out is a great opportunity to do just that.

laura For Leaders, Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Social Issues, Stories and Articles, Youth Ministry - Hot Ideas body image, Faith Formation, Laura Walton, love and respect, pop culture, Stories from Youth, Youth Ministry 'How To'

Barna: Six Reasons Young Christians Leave the Church

Reason #6 – The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.
Young adults with Christian experience say the church is not a place that allows them to express doubts. They do not feel safe admitting that sometimes Christianity does not make sense. In addition, many feel that the church’s response to doubt is trivial. Some of the perceptions in this regard include not being able “to ask my most pressing life questions in church” (36%) and having “significant intellectual doubts about my faith” (23%). In a related theme of how churches struggle to help young adults who feel marginalized, about one out of every six young adults with a Christian background said their faith “does not help with depression or other emotional problems” they experience (18%).

Reason #6 actually summarizes the previous 5 points. Being genuinely “friendly” is central to making Church relevant to young people. I personally wouldn’t use the word friendly but you get the gist. Overprotective, shallow, antagonistic, judgemental, exclusive and unfriendly aren’t exactly ringing Christian endorsements that are outlined in this study. What are we sharing with our young people? What are we doing to support them in their faith journey? How are we relevant, supportive and open to secular and faith struggles? To begin revitalizing Church for the younger generations we need to work on getting rid of the non-Christian adjectives listed in the 6 reasons. We begin to work with a new normal rather than the old normal.

Sadly, these 6 reasons I have been blogging about and the questions they raise do not just apply to the younger generations. Many apply to leaders, adults, older congregants as well. Church cannot be everything to everybody but it can be a significant contributor to those who are looking to move forward on their spiritual journey assuming we are not stagnating. So many surveys talk about how church is becoming irrelevant but people are still spiritual. People are seeking spiritually yet not often finding what they are looking for within the church. Why is that? That’s the question we need to ask ourselves as Church. What are we as congregations doing to combat the negative adjectives? What are we doing to support those on their spiritual journeys? What are we doing to be friendly? Relevant? A true and strong Gospel centered Church? As every of the 6 reasons points out, be compassionate, listen, respect and converse. It’s not rocket science. It’s what Church should be.

laura For Leaders, Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Stories and Articles Faith Formation, love and respect, Youth Ministry 'How To', Youth Ministry How-NOT-To!

Barna: Six Reasons Young Christians Leave the Church

Reason #5 – They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity.
“Younger Americans have been shaped by a culture that esteems open-mindedness, tolerance and acceptance. Today’s youth and young adults also are the most eclectic generation in American history in terms of race, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, technological tools and sources of authority. Most young adults want to find areas of common ground with each other, sometimes even if that means glossing over real differences. Three out of ten young Christians (29%) said “churches are afraid of the beliefs of other faiths” and an identical proportion felt they are “forced to choose between my faith and my friends.” One-fifth of young adults with a Christian background said “church is like a country club, only for insiders” (22%).” Read more…

laura For Leaders, Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Liturgy and Worship, Stories and Articles Faith Formation, love and respect, Youth Ministry 'How To'

Six Reasons Young Christian Leave the Church

Reason #4 – Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic, judgmental.
“With unfettered access to digital pornography and immersed in a culture that values hyper-sexuality over wholeness, teen and twentysometing Christians are struggling with how to live meaningful lives in terms of sex and sexuality. One of the significant tensions for many young believers is how to live up to the church’s expectations of chastity and sexual purity in this culture, especially as the age of first marriage is now commonly delayed to the late twenties. Research indicates that most young Christians are as sexually active as their non-Christian peers, even though they are more conservative in their attitudes about sexuality. One-sixth of young Christians (17%) said they “have made mistakes and feel judged in church because of them.” The issue of sexuality is particularly salient among 18- to 29-year-old Catholics, among whom two out of five (40%) said the church’s “teachings on sexuality and birth control are out of date.”” Read more…

laura For Leaders, Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Social Issues Faith Formation, God, Laura Walton, love and respect, Youth Ministry, Youth Ministry 'How To'

Reason #3 that young Christians leave the church.  http://www.barna.org/teens-next-gen-articles/528-six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church

Reason #3 – Churches come across as antagonistic to science.
“One of the reasons young adults feel disconnected from church or from faith is the tension they feel between Christianity and science. The most common of the perceptions in this arena is “Christians are too confident they know all the answers” (35%). Three out of ten young adults with a Christian background feel that “churches are out of step with the scientific world we live in” (29%). Another one-quarter embrace the perception that “Christianity is anti-science” (25%). And nearly the same proportion (23%) said they have “been turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate.” Furthermore, the research shows that many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries.”

Really?? Or is the true reason isnt’ that we are antagonistic but that we as Church don’t explain things well or we avoid challenging topics all together? Read more…

laura For Leaders, Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Social Issues Faith Formation, love and respect, Shake Me Up, Youth Ministry, Youth Ministry 'How To'

In a blog dated December 1

4^th I referred to a study that looks
at 6 reasons young people leave church. http://www.barna.org/teens-next-gen-articles/528-six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church . Do you think their conclusions are applicable to the Anglican Church? Here is Reason #1 and my thoughts.

Reason #1 – Churches seem overprotective.
“A few of the defining characteristics of today’s teens and young adults are their unprecedented access to ideas and worldviews as well as their prodigious consumption of popular culture. As Christians, they express the desire for their faith in Christ to connect to the world they live in. However, much of their experience of Christianity feels stifling, fear-based and risk-averse. Read more…

laura Laura's Blog, Life Issues, Social Issues Faith Formation, love and respect, Youth Ministry, Youth Ministry 'How To'

order cialis